CRAZY BUSY!!! (with pictures!!!!)

As most of you probably have figured out from my SUPER extended brake from blogging, we have been Crazy busy!!! Since we moved back to Shelley in June, we have been going NONSTOP!!! It has been good though! I desperately miss Moscow, and our friends there, but it is also great being back with other friends and of course, family! Since I posted last, all 4 kids have had birthdays! (okay, Shylee had had hers, but I hadn't posted on it yet. Oops!)

So, Shylee is our little 6 year old (her birthday was in August!) She has attitude like no other, and is not afraid to throw it at you, if she is comfortable around you! But she still lives up to her name and is incredibly shy! She is loving her new Kindergarten class, and especially so, because her best friend Colby has the same teacher!

Ivory is our Spunky 1 year old. I cannot believe that she is already 1! This past year has just FLOWN by! She is crazy and into everything! She is super independent, yet if someone walks in the room she doesn't know, or she isn't comfortable with, she is glued to me. The older she gets, the more she looks like Cayge and Icelynn, which means she looks just like the Bird's!!!!!

Icelynn has turned 8, yet thinks she's 18! She refuses to wear "little" girl clothes, and will only wear what she thinks is in style for older girls. And to tell ya honestly, she does a pretty good job! She LOVES school, and luckily for me, has broken up with her 1st boyfriend after she got in trouble (by me) for holding hands!!! (The last thing I need is to be a grandma in a few years!!!! YIKES!!!!!!!)

Cayge has turned 10, and is a very advanced 10 year old indeed! He pulls straight A's in school, with very little effort. He has an imagination like his father, and loves to play legos and video games till my eyes are about to bleed! He is best friends with my sister-in-law's little brother, Kelson. He recently played flag football, and just finished up fall wrestling! He is such an amazing, loving, thoughtful kid!



And of course, this post couldn't go without saying...




WE ARE EXPECTING BABY #5 IN MAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are super excited, and as of now, everything is looking great! We find out in a week what we are having. Personally, I hope it's human! But really, I hope to find dangle-ee parts hanging there, if ya know what I mean! :) We need a little testosterone in this house to help balance out all the crazy girls!!!

I just had to add these pictures of Ivory. Our great friend Kenny Bowcutt is an amazing photographer, and he just snapped these one night at his house when we were over for dinner!

This is her kissy face. When she wants a "tiss", she juts out that bottom lip and hums. She doesn't stop until you lean in and get a wet slobbery smooch!

Ivory's teasing face!

Kenny is just amazing. He just tossed her up on his couch cushion and snapped this priceless face :)






AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST.......

RAYCE IS ON SEASON 2 OF SYFY'S FACE OFF!!!!!!!!!!

This is the cast (notice the extreme hunk in the middle? You might know him as Rayce.) You can check out his, and the other contestants profiles here. You can also see the commercial here and here. It airs JANUARY 11TH at 7 o'clock (mt time)





(and yes, I know I didn't post any pictures of the older 3 kids, but I am not using my own computer, so I had to use the few pictures I had on this computer Hopefully I can get better about this!)

I think it's time...

to get it out in the open.

I had quite the experience yesterday when I was being pressed why I don't go to church, and why I haven't had Cayge baptized and why we won't be baptizing Icelynn. "Because I don't want to" wasn't good enough apparently. So when I finally broke down and told them that I am not a member of the LDS church, and that I am not a Christian, all hell broke loose (considering that I don't believe in hell!). I was told that my children will be ashamed of their parents because we are teaching them the wrong thing. And that bad things will happen to my family because I believe the wrong thing.

But here's the thing, we don't teach our children the same beliefs we have. Who are we that we can "brainwash" our children that they MUST believe in the same religious views as us? Ya we are their parents, but if we force them to think the way we do, then we are not allowing them to explore their world and think for themselves. Rayce and I were members in the church for a long time, mostly because that's what we were taught and that is what the society around us told us that was what we HAD to do. And unfortunately, we were so terrified of what society was going to think of us, that we didn't share our true feelings about this subject with each other because we thought that the other was "in" the religion and didn't want to be the one to rock the boat. You can not even believe the weight that is lifted off ones shoulder when you can talk about this type of subject and to know that your partner is still going to be by your side. AND that they feel the same way. We didn't to a ton of research to prove to ourselves that it wasn't the thing for us, we just felt it. And now, as we do research, and learn about different things, we feel confident in our decisions! And we also feel very grateful to some very close friends who have been their for us, and I know will be there for me in the future (specifically concerning this subject! But I know for everything else I face in life... And you two know who you are!)

We allow our children the rights to make their own decisions when it comes to their beliefs in religion and in a higher power. We are also not restricting them to what we believe. Our girls right now beg to go to church, but I feel this is out of fear. They have been told on multiple occasions that if they don't go to the LDS church or get baptized, that they will go to hell. And all my children know about hell is that it is a very scary place where very bad people go. So OF COURSE they want to go to church, they are terrified! So when they decide that they want to go because they want to learn about the religion, or any religion for that matter, we will support them 100%! If they want to serve missions, for any "religious" organization, then we will be there for them. Just because we don't go, or believe, doesn't mean that they can't either.

Yesterday I was told that my children will be so embarrassed that they will not go to do baptisms for the dead when all of their friends will be going and doing this type of stuff. Here is my answer to that... I did baptisms for the dead, and most of the people that knew me in high school knew that I wasn't "worthy" enough to go and participate(and I know that I wasn't the ONLY one in this matter) . So when my kids feel left out, at least they aren't lying to fit in. My kids will find a place in this LDS community. They aren't the only ones that are being raised in such a way. If anything, they will find their friends that love them for who they are, not what God they pray to.

So for those of you who now look down on us, or feel sorry for us, well frankly, I feel sorry for you. Not for what you believe, but because you are so close-minded that you can not see past my beliefs. Many of you will now look down upon me, not for who I am, but because of what I believe. And good riddance. I don't want those kind of people around me in my life, even if it is my online life! I hope that you can see me for who I am, because I haven't changed. I am still me. I am still a mother, a wife, a sister, a friend. You call, and I will answer (as long as I heard my phone!). I hope that you can open your mind enough to see past all that is between our religious beliefs, and see me for who I am. Because I promise you, I don't see you for your religion, I see you!!!

WOW! I am behind!!

Okay, once again I am doing a non-picture post :(

We have been so crazy busy through the end of summer, and now that school has started, life hasn't slowed down a bit!

For the first time, the girls are in dance with Elite Studios. They are loving every second of it! Icelynn is doing Cheer and Hip-hop and Shylee is doing Ballet and Tap. They practice ALL the time! (almost to the point where I'm gonna lose my mind!) Cayge's football finally started and is stoked to get the games started! He is just like his dad, I am pretty sure that microscopic footballs have replaced their red blood cells. They both live and breathe football. It's their everything! His games start on Tuesday, and he just can't wait!

We are all anxious to get Rayce home! He has been in Cali for a few weeks, and won't be back for four more! It's been tough, but in all reality, we saw him hardly at all when we were in his final semester at UofI! So we're pretty used to it. Like I said, we've been pretty busy, so that helps with his absence. Ivory is growing like a weed! I can't believe that she is almost a year old! It doesn't seem like a year ago that I was waddling around in misery trying to have a baby!! She has been walking for almost two months and she is FAST!! And into everything. Not just looking at the things in the drawers and cupboards, but pulling EVERYTHING out! She keeps me on my toes, that's for sure! She loves kittens, and the way she says meow is probably the cutest squeak I've ever heard!

Well, hopefully life slows down a little so I can actually post some pictures on here!

Just a few

Like I said in my last post, we have been super busy!!! I feel like we are going non-stop, and I LOVE it! The kids have been having a hay-day playing with a bunch of their cousins, and friends. I have thoroughly enjoyed hanging out with both friends and family! So we have had MANY light nights, and too early of mornings to follow, so secretly I am really looking forward to fall to get the kids back on a good schedule. This month is just flying by, and I can't seem to catch up, but here are a few little pictures. The kids had swimming lessons at the Shelley Pool, which was the highlight of their day!

One day we were out visiting Rayce's Grandma Poole, and she was showing the kids the garden and letting them pick fresh strawberries. So I gave a few to Ivory and she DEVOURED them!!! She had them squished everywhere. As soon as she was done she would scream for another one.

Ivy finally has enough hair for a little pony right on top!

Shylee swimming at the Shelley pool swimming lessons

Icelynn going off the diving board at lessons (her face is priceless!)

Cayge is my little Micheal Phelps! (sp?) He just goes and goes and goes!!! He is starving and exhausted when he gets out, but he is amazing!

Gotta love the Birds in a nest. Not everyone is looking, in fact, you can hardly see Icelynn and Rayce because they are in shadow. But here we are, on BIG happy family!

I know I promised, BUT....

no pictures. SORRY :(

I totally hate when I'm blog stocking and people do updates with know pictures (sorry to those of you who I just offended, please, don't take it personal, cause it's not, I'm just bored!). But here I am being a hypocrite and doing it. SO much has happened in the last few months that I can barely catch my breath! So here are some major highlights (minus pix) from our last month.

#1... RAYCE GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE!!!!! What an amazing 5 years we had in Moscow. He graduated with honors with a Bachelors of Science with a degree in Virtual Technology and Design... aka animation and computer programming. I am so proud of his dedication and determination to finish with 4 children, a nagging wife, and multiple jobs! He is an amazing man, and I truly feel blessed to have him by my side!

#2... Ivory has turned 8 months old and is not a very big little girlie. She is only 15 lbs 8 ozs, which has us a little concerned because she's not really growing, but she is a happy go lucky little girl, and (to the best of my knowledge) is loving life! She is super active and gets into everything. She is also our little Hoover and puts the tiniest little things in her mouth, along with everything else that she can possible shove in there! She is on the verge of walking, and I am pretty sure she is going to take off any day now!

#3... WE MOVED!!!! back to Shelley. It is so wonderful being back with family and friends. I get to watch my nephews 3 days a week, and we all have a blast! We spend as much time with Brianna's kids as we can, and it is so fun to have all these built in friends around us all the time. We have also been hanging out with the Bowcutts alot, and it is so nice to have such great friends live so close now! Both of the three oldest kids from each of our families are close to the same age, so they all have a good time together.

I dearly miss Moscow, especially the friends we left behind! I get choked up thinking about all the things that we should have done, but soon realize that there are bigger and better things a head of us!

Rayce has applied for a job out at the INEL, and also to some major companies out along the West Coast. And to be quite honest, I would be happy where ever we landed. I love being close to family, but I also love being on an adventure with my little family of 6, Oh the places we will go.

I hope to post pictures soon, I've only taken about a kazillion!!!!!

Hope you have a wonderful day! :)

Promises, Promises...

Okay, Ivory will officially be 7 months old in two days! But life has been super crazy this past month, so I PROMISE to do her 6 month update as soon as this crazy weekend is over... WISH ME LUCK!

San Francisco Trip

In March, Rayce, Ivory and I went over to San Francisco for spring break. Rayce was a guest artist at a tattoo shop in Rodeo, CA. He didn't have anyone to go with him, so we dropped the older 3 kids off in Shelley with family. The day we went into San Fran was such a cool day. There was a light mist, and it made everything look eery, and creepy. The pictures turned out fabulous! I loved the way they turned out. Our 1st stop was the Golden Gate Bridge. It was such a neat experience to be able to drive across the bridge and walk around it. (Yes, this just shows the sheltered life I have lived) Ivory slept through most of the time we were at the Bridge (not that she really would care anyway.) Rayce and I couldn't believe how huge the cables were for the bridge. I took a picture with him by the cable so we could show the kids truly how huge the cable was. And it was so fascinating that the cable was actually made out of tons of smaller cables.

These pictures are of Alcatraz across the bay. I was taking them from right next to the GGBridge.

After we were done at the Bridge, we went down to Fishermans Wharf and wandered around and had lunch. Then we took a cruise around the bay. It was spectacular. People looked at us like we were crazy because we had our little baby out with us. Let me remind you, IT WAS A MIST!!! We are used to cold heavy rain from Idaho, this was nothing. Plus, I had her in really warm clothes and bundled in multiple blankets. You can see in the top of the picture how wet my jacket was, but that was after being out in the rain for 6+ hours! (I did have someone take a picture of the three of us while we were cruising, but the person failed to tell us to get Ivory's attention, she was looking behind us in all 5 shots)

My favorite part... ALCATRAZ!!!! We really wanted to take the tour of Alcatraz, but it was sold out, and Ivory had all she could handle from being in the stroller all day. But my favorite thing about these pictures is, once again, the FOG!! It just leaves this creepy feeling in me when I look at the pictures. Alcatraz was such a harsh place, and these pictures tell the story! LOVE IT!

These are just a few pics that I took when we were by the Bridge. I love how my camera captured the dew drops on the giant pedals. The purple Flowers were just crazy looking, and I like crazy!

All in all, we had an amazing trip. It was nice to get away, but we missed the kids like MAD! Rayce has been a world traveler before (and was just in S.F. 8 months before) so it was really culture shock to me, having only been in a few large cities. San Fran was beautiful, and I can't wait to go back!

4 Months... Ivy, where has the time gone?

Wow, I just can't believe how fast time is flying by. It seems just like yesterday we brought Ivory home from the hospital. And now she's 4 months old! And she is cuter than ever!!!!

*She weighs 13 pounds 3 ounces (35%ile)
*She is now rolling all over the place
*She smiles, coos, giggles, and jabbers all the time
*She is turning into a mamma's girl.
*She is always giving kisses.
*She LOVES to jump in her jump-er-oo
*She almost always has to fall asleep in her swing.
*She is cutting 1 tooth on top & 1 on bottom.
*She HATES solid food.
*She HATES to lay back. She has to be sitting up right at all times!
*She is is grabbing at everything and trying to get it into her mouth.
* And even got her ears pierced!

Also, some nicknames she's accumulated: Ivy, Iver-oo, Ivs, Peanut, Toots, and Toodles

The girls reading to Ivy

The best diaper changer, and she begs to do it too! Thanks Icee, it's nice to have someone help with that stinky chore!

Chunky Monkey with (count em') 3 chins!!!!

Ivy LOVES her jump-er-oo!!! She is so spastic in it, but is havin the time of her life doing it!

Since day 1, she has always stared at this bird. Not sure why she loves it, but she does :)

Watching TV while Shylee helped me out with Ivy so I could get some homework done.

Tummy time

Sitting all by herself.

Daddy trying to help mom out, but making her more nervous than anything!

Came in from the kitchen and she had death grip on her swing toys.

Her 1st go at solids

She HATED the food. I have tried multiple times to get her to eat solids and she grips her gums together and won't let me get the spoon in.

(Love the matching bow and shirt... made this bow 5 months before we got the outfit.)

Ivory got her ears pierced on Valentines Day

She loves her puppy

Eating her puppy as she smothers it

LOVE baby feet!

Giving puppy loves

A New Life... Sort of

On Tuesday, February 1st, I had a routine eye appointment. The doc that I was seeing noticed that I was having some major issues with my optic nerve that (obviously) connect to my eyes. He referred me to a specialist, and apparently it was so important that they got me in in just a few hours. I ride my bike over to the office, thinking I was only going to be there about an hour or less. Man was I wrong!!! The doctor was looking in my eyes, and second by second her chipper resolve was slowly melting away.
(Now, I feel kind of bad, because I didn't really trust her, SHE IS MY SAME AGE! To me there is something said for years of experience!!)
She proceeds to tell me the same thing the last doc told me, that she would like to get the opinion of her superior. She tells me it will just be a few minutes, she needs to get a hold of him because this is his day off. I sit in the office for 2 hours waiting for this guy. When he finally gets in, he tells me that conjoined with the nerve problems, and the other problems that I have listed, that 90% of patients that show these symptoms result in brain tumors in the frontal lobe of their brain. They said that I would need extensive imaging to tell for sure, but it wasn't looking good for me.
Talk about a freaking slap in the face!!!!! They set me up for an MRI in two days, and a neurologist at the start of next month and send me on my way like they just told me the best news in the world.
It took every part of my being to get myself on my bike and ride the 10 blocks to my house. I wanted so bad to just sit down on the sidewalk and bawl. I have never felt so alone in my life. I wanted nothing more than Rayce's arms to embrace me and tell me everything was okay, but he was at home with the kids, and in this state of panic, it felt as though I had 100 miles to ride, not just blocks.
I decided right off the bat that we would not tell the kids, or anyone else for that matter. For one, we didn't know if there was anything to be concerned about, and if there was, we didn't want to stress everybody out, especially the kids.
It was a dark few days in this house. My MRI went good, but of course, they don't share results, so that just added to the extreme stress of the whole situation. Luckily, Rayce's parents (unknowing of the situation) came for Super Bowl weekend. It was such a wonderful distraction. I love Rayce's parents! They have always treated me as their own. I talk to Rayce's mom almost every day, and we have a great relationship. We did share our news with them, and it was so nice to have a little support through the weekend.
I kept finding myself having little breakdowns in my alone time. Ya know, I have always thought that death would not be such a scary thing for me. I knew that my children and husband rely on me, but could easily be replaced. But when something as major as a damn brain tumor looming over me, I have never wanted to be more alive... EVER! Thinking that my newborn was never going to truly know her mother was ripping me apart. To think that I would not ever see my children as teenagers or adults. Not to be able to hold my grandchildren minutes after they were born was like someone had just detonated a bomb in my heart. I had never realized how much I took my little family so lightly. Don't get me wrong, I have always loved them beyond measure, but to not know if I would always see their bright blue eyes shining smiles my way was heartbreaking. I have never cried so much in my whole life as I have this past 7 days!
Today: Is my new birthday! It is the start of my new life! I have a new resolve: I HATE DOCTORS THAT SPECULATE FOR NO DAMN REASON!!! These stupid doctors nearly ripped my whole world away from me. And for what? For NOTHING!!!!! That's right! There is nothing wrong with my brain! (at least no tumors anyway). The MRI showed a perfectly healthy brain, and the blood work that they did came out perfect also!
So today I am new. Today I will not mope around thinking of all the things that I wouldn't have been able to do, but now I will be doing. I will be active in my life, not just a person. I am me.

My name is Candi Ray Bird.
I am alive
I am here
I am ME!